There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you. (Carol Matthau)

I turned 45 today. I've been dreading this day for a while now. I'm not sure why. I didn't notice when I turned 30. Even turning 40 was no big deal. (I was given a surprise party at Chuckie Cheese, which should speak for itself.) But turning 45 really had me upset.

I think it was partly due to the fact that my daughter turns 20 in two weeks. I was a mom with three young kids. Then a mom of teenagers. But now I'll have a child who is an adult, rather than a teenager. I'm old. Or at least, older.

Also, some of my cousins (even the younger ones) are now grandparents. My mom was a grandmother at my age (thanks to me). It's scary thinking that I'm old enough to be a grandma.

But now that it's actually happened (my turning 45), I don't feel any older. I certainly didn't wake up with any of the wisdom that's supposed to come with age. And my hair isn't any grayer than it was yesterday (which, trust me, is gray enough). So maybe turning 45 isn't that big a deal after all.

* * *

I had a really nice day. The kids went to their dad's house for the weekend. They offered to stay home with me to celebrate, but since their dad doesn't take them very often I thought that they should take the opportunity to spend some time with him while they could. We're going to do dinner and birthday cake when they come home tomorrow night. I spent the day browsing the used bookstore (treating myself to a birthday gift, of course), and then went shopping with my mom. Since it was just the two of us, we were able to literally spend hours just window shopping. We did go to the grand opening of Catherine's (a plus size clothing store), and I found a couple of outfits that I liked. (I'm really difficult when it comes to buying clothes, so this was a great thing.) Mom talked me into letting her get me a birthday gift there (even though she's already watching the kids next weekend as my birthday present while I go away to New York), so I have pretty new clothes to wear while I'm in New York!

Mom and I also celebrated the day with lunch out. We tried a new Japanese/Thai restaurant -- Sake Too. It was yummy. After we finished, I remembered that I hadn't taken a picture for my blog yet. I told mom that I should have taken a picture of the food before we ate, it was presented so prettily. We joked that I should ask the waitress to let me take a picture before she delivered food to the table next to ours. So what does mom do, but ask the waitress if I can take her picture for my birthday...


She thought it was a strange custom, but was willing to go along with us. "Otanjoobi omedetou gozaimasu!"