Determination meets Frustration

I decided it was time to get serious. I need to move beyond sedentary and start adding real exercise into my life if I truly want to be half the woman I am. So this morning I got up and did almost 20 minutes of aerobics. Okay, I just danced around the living room in my pajamas until I was wheezingly out of breath, but that gave me 2500 steps before I even got ready for work.

At work, I took every opportunity to add extra steps each time I got up from my desk. 

After work, I had to run up to Singer Island to give my daughter some mail that had come to my place for her. I used that errand as an excuse to go to my favorite exercise trail in Palm Beach Gardens  where I walked two miles. 

At the end of the day, I had a grand total of 10,508 steps. That's five hundred steps over my goal! I was so proud. And so tired.

And now I'm depressed. I did 10,508 steps and I still did not get an adjustment for going beyond sedentary. What's a girl gotta do to be active?

(I suppose I should be happy that I was only 3 calories away...)

Finally, some activity

I got my very first Fitbit adjustment yesterday, and if I wasn't so exhausted I'd be ecstatic.

Do you remember the old Family Circle cartoons in the Sunday funny pages? Mom would send little Billie next door to borrow a cup of sugar, and the cartoon would show a dotted line that represented the long, rambling route Billie took all through the neighborhood -- over the fence, around the doghouse, through a puddle. I keep looking behind me for that dotted line, because I feel like I've become little Billie.

In an effort to exercise enough to get to beyond the level of Sedentary, I've been adding all sorts of little round-about additions whenever I go anywhere. If I need to go to the volunteer office, which is right next to my office, I might walk back and forth through all the pews on one side to the front of the church, then come back zigzagging through all the pews on the other side of the church. A trip to kitchen includes a lap (or two) around the fellowship hall. Even at home I will walk all the way through my apartment to get from one side of my two-step-wide kitchen to the other. These detours have gotten me closer to the magic 10,000 steps needed to be beyond sedentary, but it hasn't been quite enough.

Yesterday I stopped at the exercise trail in Palm Beach Gardens on my way to Knit Night, and I did a quick 2-mile walk. (Maybe it wasn't that quick, since it did take me almost an hour.) But it was enough, combined with the Little Billie detours, to give me 10,176 steps for the day. That was equal to an extra 15 exercise calories!

Yep. I walked ten thousand steps, or 4 1/2 miles, in order splurge on  4 M&M's. Sigh.

Less than Sedentary!

Getting ready for work doesn't take an effort, or at least any steps.

I don't get a lot of exercise. I probably don't get enough exercise. But I am active throughout the day. Even though I have a desk job, I'm constantly running back and forth between my office and the volunteers' office, or searching the entire church trying to track down the Pastor. After work, I'll stop at one of the giant department stores just to walk around for an hour in the air conditioning. Several times a week I manage to sneak in a bike ride.

Since my goal is to become half the woman I am,  I've been faithfully using a program called Lose It to track my food and exercise. The program allows me to add in the bike rides and long walks in the store, but not all the "extra" running around that I do throughout the day. This is important, because the more exercise you do, the more calories you can eat. (Or you can choose to ignore the extra exercise calories available and go for the faster weight loss!) I really wanted credit for all that running around I do throughout the day. So I got a Fitbit to track it.

Fitbits are high-tech (I love high-tech gadgets!) pedometers that track how many steps you take in a day and how many miles you've gone. They also track how many flights of stairs you've climbed, calculate how many calories you've expended during the day, and can even tell you how long and how well you sleep at night. Plus they integrate easily into the Lose It program, so all the exercising logging is automatically done for you. I was very excited to have one so that I would finally have a true record of how much I was doing everyday.

I probably should take a moment and explain that Lose It bases all the calorie calculations on the assumption that the user is sedentary. Even a sedentary person needs a certain amount of calories for things such as breathing, eating, commuting to/from work, basic house cleaning, brushing their teeth, etc. As I mentioned earlier, you put any exercise in yourself and it recalculates to include the extra calories you can (theoretically) eat. When you link a Fitbit to your account, Lose It waits until you earn that assumed number of calories expended before it starts calculating extra calories. Which makes sense -- you don't get any extra exercise calories until you actually exercise extra.

Apparently, I am less than sedentary because I have yet to earn extra exercise calories!

I got my Fitbit on Friday, so Saturday was the first full day I wore it. I did my usual activities: knitting in the morning, then I drove up to mom's and we went shopping. At the end of the day I had taken 2532 steps, using up only 87% of the calories-to-just-live that Lose It assumed I would use.

Sunday I was determined to exercise in earnest. I spent a couple of hours walking around the mall. I did three full circuits at a fairly brisk pace, or so I thought. Although I had a much larger number of steps for the day, a total of 6192, I must have been very leisurely because I used up even fewer calories than running around with mom the day before.

And all that running back and forth I thought I did at work, turned out to be minimal. Today I took 1842 steps during the work day. I think I had better head back to the mall and pick up my pace a little bit if I want to be truly "sedentary."

I should just keep moving

I had planned this post out in my head, while walking on the treadmill. I was going to talk about getting into the habit of going to the gym, and how much fun I was having. I think that it might even become my newest obsession - even it it is just a tiny room with a few pieces of equipment the apartment complex provides. I was also going to lament over the fact that I have no idea of what I'm doing. Then I would brag that I have recently leveled up in Fitocracy. By the way, I now have a real-live friend on the site. Technically, everyone who posts on the site is alive. But one of my friends is someone I know off of the computer as well. This is wonderfully motivating, which is why I planned on suggesting that everyone join me on Fitocracy. Think of how much fun it would be to encourage each other, and to compete against each other on challenges. I also planned on bragging about my new sneakers (which is why I took a picture of my feet). New sneakers doesn't sound like much, but this is the first pair I've owned in over two years.

All in all, I had a long post planned. Unfortunately, I sat down for 15 minutes after getting back from the gym.I don't think I'll be doing anything, even something as easy as typing, a while. I hurt!

A fitness obsession

For the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to come up with something active I could obsess over. I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone that I tend to go overboard when I take an interest in something. Just look at the number of posts I've written on cupcakes and cookies, or look at the amount of yarn and fiber I have stashed. (Better yet, don't look at my yarn stash - I live in fear that someone is going to call Hoarders and report me.)

I am totally convinced that if I could get interested in some type of physical activity, I would obsess my way into being healthy and skinny. The problem is coming up with an active that is both interesting and practical.

Kayaking almost fits the bill. I already know that it's a lot of fun, and it would get me out on the water more often. I really do like boating. I also like fishing, and you can fish from a kayak. I almost had myself convinced to take up the sport. Then I found two problems with the idea. First of all, have you ever priced a kayak? It's not horrible, but it isn't something I can run out and buy in the next week or so. It's going to take a bit of time to be able to afford one. (Oh, to be rich and reckless.) And sure, I could start exercising in preparation for when I can get a kayak, but what fun is that? My second hesitation is the idea that most of my trips would have to be alone. Is it safe to kayak by yourself? Actually, the question is would I be safe kayaking alone? So I've decided to think a little more before I can allow kayaking to be an obsession.

Luckily, I may have just found an alternative. Fitocracy is a online game that gives you points for exercising. Some workouts earn more points than others, which is how it should be. There are also special quests that give you bonus points. You can play against yourself, or join different teams if you want to compete with others.

I've never been much of a gamer, but I think that I could get into this. The idea of playing a fitness game online amuses me.

The first step is always the hardest.

My apartment complex has an exercise trail. Actually, it's more of a sidewalk that runs along the outer edges of the complex. There are two picnic areas along the way. (I'm not sure how that fits in with the exercise theme, but it's nice to know the grills and picnic tables are available.) There is also three spots with traditional exercise trail equipment: a chin up bar, a slanted sit-up bench, and these:

I imagine if I spent more time in a gym, I'd know what they're called. You stand on them and swing your legs, mimicking skiing. While I found it a lot of fun to do, I really don't understand why they're on a walking trail. I mean, you're already getting in the aerobics by walking. What other benefits can swinging your legs in this machine give you?

When life hands you lemons...

A reincarnated Lemonade shawl

Tuesdays are supposed to be Tune-up days, where I update on my progress with either my health goals or the 50 by 50 goals. I don't have anything new to report on either one.

I probably should have something to report. It's not like I don't have time for myself. With my son moved out and my daughter's busy schedule (work, social life, college starting this week AND a new job), I get lots of "me" time. Which I've been busy spending either job hunting or cleaning/decluttering the house.

Maybe I'll get back on track for next week. Maybe.

Excercise relieves stress. Nothing relieves exercise. ( Ikkadu, Hosaka, and Kawabata)

I'm almost proud of myself. I've been getting up every day between 6 and 6:30 am to walk for half an hour. I go around the pond (hence all the duck/geese pictures), knitting dishcloths as I walk. I still haven't found a workout that I feel I can get obsessive about, but at least I've started something.

It does help to get out each morning to remember that I'm working toward the P.A.L.A. patch. I like earning patches. The deal is that you og your exercise, whatever it is. If you are active (exercising) for 30 minutes, you get a point on a star. Five days of activity earns you the complete star for the week. The idea is that you have to exercise or be active 30 minutes for five of the seven days each week. When you have filled in six stars, you have earned the Presidential Active Lifestyle Award.

Once you have gotten the P.A.L.A., you can go on to other challenges. I think the next one for me will be the Bronze Medal.

I'd love to have some company with the challenges. There is a group feature, so we could cheer each other on. Just let me know if you are interested.

You're either going to die or get better...

Anyone who knows me, knows my opinion of doctors. But sometimes you just have to give in and go. Last week I made an appointment for both my daughter and myself.

The doctor made it clear that he had the same thought as I did; there was nothing wrong with either of us and I was obviously wasting everyone's time (and my money) visiting him. But he ran a couple of tests (wasting more time and money), just to be sure.

It turns out that our vague "It hurts, make it stop" complaints had valid reasons.

While I'm relieved to be able to garner sympathy now for the "it hurts," I wish there would have been better responses to the "make it stop" portion of our complaints.

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. (Gwyneth Paltrow)

I've recently become preoccupied by lipstick. Which is very strange for me.

I've always been a big fan of the natural look, using as little makeup as possible. The only reason to use any makeup at all (in my opinion) is to even out your complexion and to highlight your features. For me, a light application of foundation and powder seemed like enough. (Other women do a lot more than foundation and blush, and they look wonderful. I'm not against makeup; I just haven't seen any reason for me to make the attempt. Truthfully, I'm just too lazy and rushed in the mornings to make the attempt.)

Most mornings the foundation and powder is enough. Occasionally I will put on a little bit of lipstick, and it's amazing the compliments I'll suddenly get. Apparently lipstick can magically make you look younger, happier, and give the appearance of a new haircut. Since I seldom remember to reapply it throughout the day, the effects soon wear off and I'm once again an unhappy older woman in need of a hairdresser.

This week, I'm pledging to carry a tube of lipstick with me wherever I go and to actually use it throughout the day.

If we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time? (Wachowski Brothers)

Now that I've settled into the food plan, it's time to add activity to my weight loss program.

I'm trying to walk a little bit every day, even if it's only ten minutes at a time. I figure that something is better than nothing. And I do like to walk.

Eventually I'm going to need to do more than just an easy walk. My apartment complex has a really nice gym, but I don't know what I should be doing. The treadmill is pretty self-explanatory. But I don't know how to use the rest of the equipment.

I wish I played tennis, or something that would provide a fun means of getting exercise. I wonder if I could do yoga? Or maybe I should find a dance class. There has to be something I can do...

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. (H.L. Hunt)

I am a total point miser.

Weight Watchers allows you to eat whatever you want, as long as you count the points. (Points are based on the protein, carbs, fat, and fiber content of the individual food.) There are daily points, plus extra weekly points that be used. Without going into details, I have an awful lot of points so I really can eat what I want. Instead, I carefully hoard my points and only eat foods with minimal points. For instance, I passed up a cookie (7 points) to eat a clementine orange instead (because it was 0 points).

Being a point miser would be a good thing, except that I generally end the day with more than 10 points left untouched. (So I could have had the cookie after all.)

You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces - just good food from fresh ingredients. (Julia Child)

At work my secret santa gave me a pedemeter. It's really neat; it tracks steps and miles, calculates the calories burned, and even checks your pulse.

My first day using it I tracked 1, 526 steps. Considering that I keep reading websites that state a goal of 10,000 steps, I think I need to get a little more active.

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. (Lou Holtz)

I am very excited about the new Weight Watchers program. After one week on Points Plus, I lost 7.4 pounds.

I know I'm not going to have results like this every week, but it was really wonderfully motivating to stick with the new plan.

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. (Andy Worhol)

On Monday Weight Watchers announced the new PointsPlus plan. It's fantastic!

Two years ago I lost 60 pounds tracking what I ate by counting points the Weight Watchers' way. It was easy to stay on track because I never felt deprived. I could eat whatever I wanted, as long as I calculated the points. And since I'm so obsessive with tracking details, I even thought it was fun. (Okay, now you know my dirty little secret...I like to calculate WW points.)

The brilliant people of Weight Watchers figured out that there were a lot of people like me who were doing great on the plan but who weren't really learning anything. (Okay, this paragraph is mostly my opinion. The official statement is that they wanted to stay on top of the most current research in diet and nutrition.) Although I was great at staying within my points, and I never felt deprived, it was because I had figured out that if I used 2 points for breakfast and 6 points for lunch, I could use the rest of my daily points for a Reuben sandwich with extra dressing. I never even tried to reach the recommended dairy or vegetable/fruit amounts.

PointsPlus still has all the flexibility built in. And if I want to save my points in order to have a Reuben, I can. But eating healthy makes a lot more sense. Before, when my choice was eating a candy bar or a large banana (both about the same points) I would always choose the candy bar. Now I can eat the banana (or even better, a mango) without costing me any points at all but the candy bar is going to cost me 8 points. The way the points are calculated now, I think I can actually attain the recommended nutritional amounts. And I will still be able to use my extra points for that candy bar, if I want it after eating a mango or a bowl of strawberries.

I lost 60 pounds the last time, although I put back 50 in the past year. This time I'm going for a full 100 pounds.

He who limps still walks. (Stanislaw Lec)

Shopping with the teenagers yesterday left me with tired, sore feet. Even worse, it left me with a tired, sore ego. There were far too many dressing room mirrors to avoid acknowledging that I am beyond "a bit" out of shape.

So this evening, I joined my daughter at the gym.

That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was trying to keep up with her.

I actually did pretty well on the treadmill the first 10 minutes. By 15 minutes, I was promising myself a visit to the hot tub if I could live to 20 minutes. By 20 minutes, I was beginning to mentally compose my will -- leaving absolutely nothing to the sadistic child who tricked me into the gym of course. (Poor child, she was totally unaware of my discomfort and continued to merrily bop along on the exercise bike to her ipod tunes.) By 25 minutes, I was moving along by pure willpower, determined to keep going as long as my daughter did. (Plus, I wasn't sure how to turn off the treadmill without help.) The last 15 minutes are gone from my memory. I just know that by the time my daughter took pity on me, I had walked 40 minutes.

This was probably just one small step for most people. But it was one giant leap forward for me.

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. (Robert Rodriguez)

Last year I joined Weight Watchers, and I did really well. I stuck with the plan, even through the holidays, and by counting up the points of everything I ate I managed to lose a little over 70 pounds. It was wonderful, and I felt great.

But little by little I've lost my motivation. And although I know that Weight Watchers works wonderfully, I don't have any desire to count points or plan special meals. Most days lately, it's all I can do to put together a meal that isn't from a drive-thru lane. My jeans have become extremely tight as a result, and not in a "looking-good" way.

So when I was offered a Ten-Day Challenge yesterday, I decided to go for it. It's a simple program, which is what I need right now. No counting calories, no planned meals; just three very easy to follow changes that fit in nicely with my current lifestyle.

Day 1:


This is my "Before" picture, taken this afternoon. I debated about sharing this, since I really don't like the way I look. But I want an honest way of seeing whether the Challenge has any real effect. For that reason, I've also taken my measurements. I won't share the actual numbers, but I will let you know if there is any change.

• Weight
  
• Waist
• Hips
• Thigh

The first step is the most obvious. Eat a balanced, sensible diet. For me, that means adding breakfast (and two chocolate frosteds from Dunkin Donuts doesn't count). It also means severely limiting the amount of chocolate I snack on throughout the day. Hershey Kisses should not be taking the place of lunch. I am not going to count points, or calories, or whatever. But I will stop and think my choices through, selecting the lower-fat, higher-nutrition option whenever possible.

I'll let you know how well I'm doing on Day 5.

Remember, nothing that's good works by itself, just to please you. You have to make the damn thing work. (Thomas A. Edison)

Look. It's a pretty new purse. And did you notice the wicked black fingernails? In person, you can see the glitter and the rhinestone daisies on the nails. I'm feeling very snazzy.

I'm also trying real hard to distract from the fact that today is Tuesday's Tuneup. I know, it's only the second week and already I'm trying to avoid the subject.


And the reason I'm trying to avoid the subject is because I'm having trouble avoiding the M&Ms.

I did pretty well the beginning of the week. I kept my points, ate what I was supposed to, and even managed to get six activity points racked up. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself on Sunday (a day early, not that one day should have made a big difference). I gained three pounds! Well, that was the end of it for me. I ate an entire bag of Hershey kisses, drank regular soda instead of diet, and didn't write a thing down in my food log.

It's now late Tuesday night, and the best I can say is that at least I'm drinking a diet Dr. Pepper. I know I need to get back on track. But those m&m's are just calling out my name...

WEEKLY WEIGHT: +4
TOTAL WEIGHT: 0

Tuesday Tuneup

Congratulate me. I've made it one full week on Weight Watchers.

I did Weight Watchers a year ago, and lost a little over 70 pounds. I love the program, because it's easy to follow. Basically, you can eat anything you want as long as you remember to record and track your points. There are daily points that you have to eat, plus weekly points in case you need a little extra or want to splurge.

But after doing the plan faithfully for about eight months, I decided to give myself a couple of weeks off. Then it was a month. Then two. Seven months later (and 30 pounds back on) I finally got myself back on track. I finally convinced myself that there was going to be a "better time" to start; that my life was always going to have stress, or an upcoming celebration, or long hours at work and little time to eat right, or whatever. And although it shouldn't have surprised me, being back on Weight Watchers was really pretty easy. Best of all, I've already lost 4 pounds.

I will confess that yesterday (day 8), I did goof up. I didn't get to eat much at lunch, and then stayed late at work. By dinnertime, I was so hungry that I threw everything out the window and stopped at Jersey Mike's. I ate an entire giant cheese sub all by myself. Then topped it off with TWO low-fat ice cream bars. When I finally came to my senses, I figured up my points and found that I ate more than an entire day's points in the one meal.

But I put it in my log, counted up the points and thanks to the weekly splurge allowance I am still doing okay. I just have to be good the rest of the week.

And in a way it's a good thing, because it's inspired me to start exercising. I can earn extra Activity points, which would mean that I can still have a small splurge later on this weekend IF I exercise everyday during the week. I'll let you know how I do in the next Tuesday Tuneup.

WEEKLY WEIGHT: -4
TOTAL WEIGHT: -4

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. (Andre Gide)

November seems to be my month for resolutions. I always seem to go on a full-fledged, give-it-all-I-have diet in November. (Yep, just in time for the holidays.) I join NaBloPoMo (vowing to post every day not just for the month but for the rest of my life), as well as NaNoWriMo (with every intention of finally writing my novel). And I promise to exercise regularly, clean my house faithfully, and basically just live cheerfully ever after.

I think it has something to do with my birthday, which seems to me to be a much better benchmark for a life accounting than the first page of an annual calendar.

This year, I decided to convert to pesceterianism. Okay, I admit that just being able to say that phrase is a big part of the draw for me. (It's even better when I say that I'm an Episcopalian pesceterian. Don't you wish you could say the same?)

A pesceterian is a vegeterian that doesn't eat meat or flesh animals, but does eat fish. I don't have any great moral reason for making this decision. I'm not trying to save the world or even to protect animal rights. At the same time, I'm not doing it just because my daughter did it. (Although I don't think I would consider trying this change if she hadn't shown me that it could be done and how.)

I'm making this change purely for selfish reasons. For people with inflamatory diseases, such as arthritis and fibromyalgia, research shows that relief can be found by eliminating red meat and limiting poultry, while increasing antioxidants through fish, fruits, and vegetables. I figure that it's worth a month without hamburgers to see if it makes a difference.

Of course, today is just the second day and I'm already sitting here hungry and grumpy because I was too tired after work to make dinner. None of our local drive-thru's have vegeterian options. So the kids are munching on Angus bacon burgers while I'm eating a slice of cheese toast, trying to decide if the cherry-chocolate-chip ice cream left in my freezer could really be considered a fruit and dairy option.

It may turn out to be a really long month.

* * *

By the way, while I did join NaBloPoMo, I have steadily avoided the NaNoWriMo site this year. Which means that my novel will remain unwritten for now, but hopefully my blog will offer an acceptable daily substitute for anyone looking for something amusing to read.