It is a sad fact that 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

(Richard Jeni)

This is a rant. I only thought it fair to warn you.

On the way to school this morning, my son (17 years old) and I were listening to the radio show talking about a local political scandal. My son made a simple inquiry as to why it was such a big deal that the man had an affair. So I attempted to explain that the affair itself was probably not a big deal; that it was the lying and hypocrisy that accompanies an affair that is the real problem. The politician had run his election compaign on the idea that he was a "family values" type of a man and had put down the opposing candidate for the things that person had done. Now it turns out that the politician was just as bad and that he was dishonest about it as well.

The discussion went on (as those types of discussions tend to do) to my belief that if you want to run and fool around with other people, then you should probably not also have a spouse that thinks that you're in a committed relationship. It's not the affair that's wrong; it's the wanting to have it both ways (free to fool around AND a "committed" relationship) that's a problem.

That's when my son made the statement that "it's harder for men because in a divorce the woman always gets everything."

Huh?!? Where the heck did he ever get that idea? Does he really think that his dad got the short end of the stick in our divorce? How can he possibly believe that? Wasn't he paying attention all those years I struggled to put food on the table? Struggled to get the kids the things they needed? Worried about paying the bills and frequently not being able to, hence the times coming home to no electricity or water. Doesn't he remember making do and going without?

Yes, I'm sure his father talks about how tough it is having to pay childsupport. But doesn't my son realize that his father also talks about not being able to take him for visitation because of this vacation or that vacation trip; that his father is talking to him from a big house that he owns, instead of a rented apartment like ours; that his father affords restaurants and nights out while we're still making do.

I'm happy, finally, with where I'm at financially. It was a lot of years of struggling, years that we probably shouldn't have had to go through. I'm proud that we made do and did without and were able to get to the point that we're at now. It's been a few years since I've worried about the car being repossessed, or the lights being turned off. We're able to take the occaisional vacation, and buy some of the extras that the kids and I want. So I'm really not complaining. Or at rather, I'm not complaining that much.

But for my son to be able to say that the woman gets everything while the man gets the shaft in a divorce... the boy has been watching way too much television and not paying enough attention to life!